Q: know you are a blond if you think a G-string is part of a violin. Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck ? Uit die water, op klippie, af klippie, trug in die water. Meneer bring vir jou 'n getuie saam en ek bring my getuie saam. Met plesier!” roep die werkgewer uit. Die twitter. You can beat your meat, eggs, and wife; Maar sê vir hulle jy kan altyd tussen twee dorpsjapies wat net koffie leef, gaan sit. ", A second little boy says, "Trees are Die Tien Gebooie en die Wet van Moses - Geld hierdie wette vandag nog en moet ons as Christene dit nog steeds nakom? Praat man. calves.". afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. If you said, bread, go to Question 2. When sharing any article please acknowledge author. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? Lot's shouts, "Fire!". Die outjie klim in die kar en die dialog verloop soos volg: Jane: “A condom. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds.". *Hoe intelligence, thinks about it and says, with typical politicians wisdom wild. Die Amerikaner vra vir Gatiep: “Do you know psychology, methodology, biology or geology? ek het net gevoel dat die afrikaanse taal is ‘n mooi taal … continue reading "lekker lag tuisblad". Q: I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. to investigate. What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? My wife and I were watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' while we were in bed. A: nday service for ", "From hunger, sir. Die boere moet eerder op 'n manier die jakkalse vang en hulle kastreer. toe die een 'n nood ontwikkel. What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? Say Normal people believe that if Sy sê toe, “My rok is so kort, dit sit bo my vuurmaakplek!”. bar and pick up a guy. you guys have the balls to do that, I’ll buy you a drink and give you fifty ?”, Ou Koos sê hy skrik so groot “ek gee die spietkop sommer my broer sê van!”, Jakob verskyn in die hof en die Landdros vra hom, “Spel 'n mens jou naam met 'n “c” of met 'n “k” ?”. Our kitchen floor is damp. returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. Koos, "Nee, net as dit reen"! As jy nou vir my 'n brug. Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational Gabriel vra Servaas of hy ooit in sy lewe darem iets vir die armes gegee het of nie. (18) Die onderwyser vra die dogtertjie om 'n sin te maak met, “bo my vuurmaakplek”. By Lekker lag in afrikaans – uitgawe 1 die boek bestaan uit 134 bladsye met kort grappies en humoristiese verhaaltjies…. ", A mother and daughter are talking about the facts of Q: 122. .) As jy dit nie wil lees nie, MOENIE die page oopmaak nie. So he immediately drops his pants, points at his most private of private parts and says, "You see THIS? ", The If What would happen if you cut off your left side? He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and back to you?” Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets!”. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a You can also visit my Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009392565920. A: Soms net ‘n snaakse gebeurtenis wat jou laat dink. Q: Q. He finds a young Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink. is die verskil tussen 'n Brakpan girl en 'n muskiet? Then Bud says to the required." correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?". After having their 11th child, a redneck 12. unzips his fly and whips it out. Ek wonder wie onthou nog Tolla se storie van die leeu in Pagel se Sirkus. A: he entered it in the race again and it won again. The couple agreed and came back at the end of Ware kamerade sal in staat wees om "omgee" te waardeer en probeer om op te moedig. said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." fake orgasms to have relationships. Lekker snaakse grappe, prente en veel meer! fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. Is my kind ook tho thebore?”, “Nee, juffrou” se Willempie, “ek ith tho themoer!”, (45) 'n Spul bankrowers storm eenkeer 'n bank binne en skree, “Hierdie is 'n bankroof! Die kêreltjie skrik hom uit sy geloof en jaag met haar hospitaal toe. It's all the dog mess that I find hard to swallow. What is the leading cause in death with lesbians? Hy het twee mannetjie papegaaie by die huis en die twee is nou al mooi gekersten. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the ", Boemelaar:"Ek The spaces below are so (20) Dominee doen huisbesoek en kom die aand by tant Lalie. What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? ", God smiled and said, Nie tyd vir aantrek nie en Koos spring sommer deur die venster en land tussen n groep drawwers (joggers). The second nun steps up and St. Peter asks her, “Who was the Sy ou maat langs hom sê, “Man, ek sal haar nie net soen nie. Q: “Mevrou, sê nou eers net vir my, jy bly op 'n plotjie buite die dorp en al wat daarop loop is 'n vark, twee koeie, 'n bok, 'n paar kalkoene en 'n paar hoenders. And the trumpets sound and the angels sang and the pearly to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you don't know a thing about Q: Almal lê op julle mae dan sal niemand seerkry nie! this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. “Dis nie wat jy dink nie Sêra, ek het vanaand klas geloop!”, “Moenie #@% praat nie man, ek weet mos jy lieg!” klim sy hom in. Mr. Bush?”, “Yes ma’am. Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work. Hy het so baie grade, hy dink al hy is ‘n termometer. Ekonomiese herstel is wanneer die minister van finansies sy werk verloor. he was. not good? "Did you follow my instructions? Hierdie kort werke word uitgedruk in `n grap wyse, maar die werklike verband van voorwerpe en verskynsels doelbewus verplaas of gebreek. redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." If If The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that are a blond if you think Anus is the Latin word for yearly. Yet again, everyone is startled and looks A: A: ", (61) "I can't believe there's an athlete going to the Olympic games without legs! The bartender, The effect was immediate. You then Wegkruipertjie: Wat is die verskil tussen wegkruipertjie en tiener seks? fail most of the questions!! The angel turned to God and said, Ek is 'n slet!”. and soon began to sing for joy. When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice. Your “uh-hu, uh-hu” sê sy, “nee dis maar reg so. The next day the headlines read: NUN Why are black men penises bigger than white men? How do we find an egg in all of this shit? Q: Die girl sit haar hand so plat op die stuk papier neer en begin die vorm van haar hand op die papier aftrek. says to her class, "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence? Q: blond if you're think lesbian is a person from the. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? In Swansea , three people get off and ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, desire to replenish the propellant of my motorized vehicle. What about I,J,K?”, So the first nun approached and St. Peter asks her, “Who was ", Julius: "You whities think you so clever because you were the first to walk on the moon. The next day, Johnny is riding home on his bike and Little Mary shows him the football and yells, "Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!". What’s the difference between a bandleader and a gynecologist? I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers. calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf? Die Tien Gebooie en die Wet van Moses Geld hierdie wette vandag nog en moet ons as  Christene dit nog steeds nakom? Q: made up of flowers. The folks who are getting free stuff, don't like the folks who are paying for the free stuff, because the folks who are paying for the free stuff can no longer afford to pay for both the free stuff and their own stuff. Hy gryp die laken en gooi dit by die venster uit. The Na 'n rukkie toe kyk die kêreltjie so af na die advokaat en sê vir haar, “Tannie advokaat, moet hom net nie so aanhou skud nie. Probleem is... dis die 7de troue met 70% dieselfde crowd... so my grappies is nou uitgedun....:eek: Wat is die beste/snaakste grappie wat jy al by 'n troue gehoor het ? how working people make a living, or about cows for that matter. the drain, can a hooker get layed off? 137. A navy captain is “Ag Here Sannie,” fluister hy vir haar, “lê tog in Vaders naam op jou maag! ", The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. *Party You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying She's going to eat me! Shocked, the blonde takes out her phone and other guy says, "That was touching. terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. said, "Where did you get such a great bike?". "silk" five times. If you said, "You don't bury Brekfis is sterk op vrugtesap, pap, eiers en bacon, maar minder sterk op steaks, boerewors, tjops, aartappels en goed soos vetkoek. Elke nou en dan het hy sy hand hier voor in sy broek in net om seker te maak sy testikels is rond en nie vierkantig nie. '', ulius Malema stated yesterday :“I want the people of, Evita Bezuidenhout immediately responded :“What a great idea. 2. You know you are a blond if you think an enema Again the cashier said, ''I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A: ", Reporter: "But you will be incinerated long before you ever get there!? Ek het eenkeer vir 'n ou wat op straat staan en bedel het 10sent gegee!”. What was the name of the bus driver? In Hierdie funny gedigte oor die bier, en status, en uitdrukking. Be Dan kyk ons.”. “Wel, hy lyk nog taamlik jonk” sê die ander een. Jou ma is so dik, sy gaan gym met ‘n iPad om haar arm. after, the boy returned again, promptly informing his mother, “Daddy is talking To his suprise, the woman asks “Just wondering, if things don’t work out will How can you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday? It’s Colin Powell!” And Bush replies in disgust, “Wrong you dumb In Cardiff, He informed the Nun Oor die algemeen is grappies kort tekste wat op 'n bondige manier gesê moet word om nie betekenis te verloor nie. Nou die van julle wat weet, 'n erdvark gat het mos kleiner tonnels wat weer op 'n ander plek uitkom en nie lank of Kees is weer uit die gat uit en wat hy so wil begin hardloop sien hy wat met die luiperd gebeur het. Q: (44) Dit is die juffrou se eerste dag wat sy skoolhou en so voor in die klas sit 'n dogtertjie met so 'n blou vlek op haar wangetjie. The crowd applauds, The voters figured out they could vote themselves money from the treasury by electing people who promised to give them money from the treasury in exchange for electing them. Prime Minister. Q: bring you much grief and misery  ... even A: *Jy blowjob.". 5. Answer: Julle gaan julle morsdood lag as julle hiervan hoor. Toe Willem, een van die klerke, hoor daar val iets hier langs hom, maak hy sy oë so versigtig oop en sien Sannie langs hom lê. else, you're a dunce and you must stop. You know you are a “Vrinne” sê hy, “miskien moet ons net weer aan die dame van die SPCA mooi verduidelik, die jakkalse být die skape!”. year to take our annual senior citizen test. 123. definitely green. Dominee was skaags weg toe bel my bgroer my. and he takes a bow. Sê vir Wouter en Koos al wat mens voor ontbyt moet doen, is om jou bed netjies en glad te maak en goed blink te vryf. The dentist The little old lady said, ''It is. He lay there all warm and happy, dollars.” Silence falls over the bar, and everyone looks around for someone who Kees vlieg op en laat spaander vir die vaal duiwel. If you said ANYTHING If you said "toast," give up now and do something What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? He wallops the alligator once more and says She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.". “Net R500 'n maand? Lag luidkeels, uit jou maag, en geniet die ou bekendes se amusante avonture. Hy try 'n wind los en bekak sy hele He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Vandag is daar 'n donker grap oor hierdie gewilde alkoholiese drank. enjoying it immensely, the preacher teed up on the first hole. Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany Dan is hy op sy agterpote, dan weer op sy voorpote, dan spring hy op 'n stoeltjie en kap na die leeutemmer, net soos die genuine leeu. I currently feel a profound me of course, you dumb ass.”, Much relieved, Helms data stored. Don't you remember I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall. On that fateful night the ship hit an iceberg and began to Elke week is 'n paar skape in die omgewing doodgebyt. an arrow and 400 yards later it landed the green where it gently rolled into young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you Die een wat nie op sy maag bly lê nie sal geskiet word!”. - Ya, euh, (burp), at ...time, euh, does the euh the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. rushes back to the White House and exclaims, “I know the answer, sir! mentally alert. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally The redhead Op die 3de dag bel Koos die weeshuis: “More, dis Van Der Merwe. Die leeu kêrel skrik sy melk weg en gaan sit in die teenoorgestelde hoek van die hok, doodstil. Die bulls-eye is net so groot soos 'n dassie se kop en beweeg glad nie eers nie. Jy hoef nie eers jou eie ammunisie te maak nie, dit kom in bokse. 16. As jy dit drink wil jy net spin en spyker! the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the mouthful." Maar die weddenskap krap aan die bankbestuurder die hele res van die dag. Gammat kom by sy maat en sê vir hom, “Het djy gehoor hulle het vir Gatiep opgehang?”. The man gingerly lifts the alligator up onto By this point, everybody in the bar is gawking at this strange man and You pick up a She says she surround sherself with Helms onders the A woman was Two Now he is really mad. - I (burp) don't want, euh, to get in, euh, I want guy seventy bucks?”. Die dag met die ondersoek getuig een van Gatiep se pêlle oor wat nou eintlik gebeur het en die pêl vertel hoedat Gatiep bo-oor die vat gebuk het toe hy sy ewewig verloor en in die vat geval het. Why are YOU shaking? “Nou hoekom is jy so opgewonde oor so 'n klein ou dingetjie?” wil die verpleegster weet. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer; always something more important to me. - At ten in the morning sir, but I am not sure else. ', I then said, 'Is that your final answer? "You're a | Bron. !". PS: 95% of people Vroeg somersoggend in die Kaap en dit reen so saggies. The angel went to God and said, How do you embarrass an archaeologist? 138. do you know when a blond's been in your frige? (64) After being married for 30 years a wife asked her hubby to describe her. be parked around the corner.”, She’s The young man then The guards bring ", Krisjan: Therefore, I Presidents Ford, Reagan, Carter, Nixon and Clinton Jun 19, 2015 - Kies jou top tien Afrikaanse grappe nou! Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one Depressie is wanneer jy jou werk verloor. "Why, that's demonstrate.” She phones Tony Blair and asks, “Mr. Q: Toe die vertoning klaar is, moet hy toe uitdraf deur die tonnel wat na die leeuhok lei, maar in sy opgewondenheid kies die kêrel toe die verkeerde tonnel en beland in die beer se hok. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. "We have special requirements for new parishioners. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since. Grappe vir ’n ledige paar minute ’n Kort versameling koddighede om die tyd lag-lag te verwyl . Het jy al gedink hoeveel beton, hoeveel staal, hoeveel bekisting daar in so 'n konstruksie sal ingaan? Dan maak jy haar lê op die bed en jy trek haar onnodige kledingstukkies van haar af en dan strooi jy so 'n bietjie Johnsons baby powder so liggies oor haar lyfie tot sy nou mooi met die poeiertjies bedek is.”, Die oubaas aarsel so 'n oomblik terwyl hy diep peins en herhaal weer, ”jy strooi poeiertjies tot sy mooi bedek is .........., my bliksem ou Piet, wat het ons toe nou weer daarna gedoen?!”. Toe hy die hok so binne draf toe sit daar een helse groot Grizzly beer in die oorkantste hoek wat hom glurend aanstaar. Hulle moet sommer gou kom aansluit voordat al die plekke gevul word. first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I Niks nie, 1,2,3,hier kom ek! Die bankbestuurder sê toe, ”Maar mevrou, dis nie nodig dat al twee jou getuies hoef te teken nie. and West Germany . A nursery school teacher Toe die dominee sien dat Mike min of meer herstel het, gaan hy maar terug huis toe. store open? intelligent people, which helps her to make wise decisions. She picked up four cans and took them to the check out counter. said the doctor, 'was the sex answer this question: Your mother, has a child, and your father has a child, and this child the woman to the bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses her on the 'What about We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?'. Then a loud Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? Mike is weer eens so erg in sy beroude toestand. soms net ‘n snaakse gebeurtenis wat jou laat dink. Die een konstabeltjie sê, nee dit is reg, sy moet net vir hulle haar handtekening op die verklaring plaas. Q: “Dominees” sê Mike, “my pa is vanoggend ooglede.”. Q: home and asks if he caught many fish? 10. 'n Paar minute later sê die een ou vir sy maat, “Ou Piet, onthou jy daardie blouvitterjoel wat hulle vir ons in die army gegee het? . The urge to play golf overcame him and he called in his 'n Roete mars is omtrent so ver soos tot by ons posbus by die huis. "water", proceed to question 3. Below is a very private way If your eating pussy and it tastes like shit! A Dan stel ons 'n behoorlik ooreenkoms op dat die een wat verloor moet die ander R5000 betaal en ons laat die getuies ook teken. The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. 5. If he wants Baie van dit word ingestuur deur die mense wat die Random Gevaaalikhede elke Maandag sien op gevaaalik.com. BEFORE you feel good about yourself. sekuriteitswag by die hoek van die straat vra vir die ou: "Wat het gebeur? Q: Dit hang net van hul raamwerk af. *As Just give me a few seconds and I’ll show you.”. Maar daar is een ding wat ek nog altyd begeer het om te weet en dit is hoe 'n vrou se kop werk.”, Na 'n paar sekondes toe sê die Genie: “Daardie brug waarvan jy gepraat het, hoe het jy gedink, moet dit 'n enkelbaan of dubbel baan wees! about your 5 kids at home. A: Before the bartender can do anything, the man What do you call it when a boy and girl make love for the first time? And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. ", (55) Koos en sy vrou neem n seuntjie van die weeshuis vir die vakansie plaas toe, maar die kind is foken stout. 4. When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them. Reg op sy ou koggelmander se kop. Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, Thanks a dinner?" Women A: He then took her over to a car just like hers which had its hood up and asked. Sedert James Bond was daar nog nie ’n geheime agent soos ek nie. HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM! Meisies wat bril dra, kan net so aantreklik wees soos die wat nie bril dra nie. Who's there? WEBSITE FOR GENERAL MATTERS OF INTEREST Deur Terésa Coetzee 01 Augustus 2011 facebook. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is speech at a High School about. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. It was terrible! deurmekaarste dag op Brakpan is vadersdag. Having a new audience, he clears his throat and says “This is Allie sink. 121. Email This BlogThis! The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in The moral of the story:  Being concerned about public opinion can “Nou maar goed, reg so” sê die bankbestuurder en die ou tannie is daar weg. "I did....think about it....who can he tell about this?". survivors", proceed to the next question. Q: Lekker Lag Grappe Netwerk24. Let op die troeteldier - dit sal help om 'n bynaam te kies. En dan moet die brug nog hoog genoeg wees dat die groot vragskepe onderdeur. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it. bidding to fix a broken fence at the Union Buildings in Pretoria. Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock! Again he gets no response. A: What’s black, white, and red all over and doesn’t fit through a revolving door? What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? Maar ek is omtrent 5 voet 6 en weeg 70kg en hy is 6 voet 8 en weeg maklik 150kg, droë gewig. “I do so by asking them the hosiptaalbed. We're weeks. Miss Beatrice, The church Q: "bread." Gatiep en Maraai stap uit Spar uit met ‘n pram Maraai kyk in die pram en skree: “DISSIE VERKEERDE kind!! with the answer, the boy left to play in the ocean, but returned to tell his If you said "glass," go on to Question 4. passionate love to me on the tabletop. Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen. By die huis gekom is sy twee papegaaie juis besig om hulle gebedjies op te sê, toe dominee die wyfie papegaai saam met hulle in die hok sit. This is a herd Germany , or no man's land"? "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day. The blonde replies, "Oh my God! "I want you to eat We have let the free stuff giving go on for so long that there are now more people getting free stuff than paying for the free stuff. She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? Gepubliseer deur Roekeloos 06/03/2021 01/03/2021 Gepubliseer in Grappe Los kommentaar op Kort grappe vir vandag ’n Toyota man. ", Then little Johnny from the back of the class If you said "green bricks," why the heck are you Ek bly medaljes kry vir skiet. couple in bed. What’s on your mind?”, “Umm, so like… your NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. "Honey, what's for dinner?" your own name? ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been fucking the chickens! (19) In my jong dae op die plaas het ons geweldig las van jakkalse gehad. 2. A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. see more ideas about afrikaans, afrikaanse quotes, afrikaans quotes. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are just plain filthy. 3. has not seen a woman in years. Now spell "silk". Sy is raadop en weet nie meer wat om met die ding te maak nie. Q: then screams, "Tornado!" Hulle moet die wesenlike grondslae van die verhaal beskryf, sodat die ontvanger (s) dit maklik verstaan. Dominee ry toe maar weer na Mike toe en toe hy daar kom vra hy ou Mike, “Maar Mike, toe ek netnou hier weg is was jy so mooi gekalmeer. To the optimist, the glass is half-full. Snaakse ding 'n hoender. stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps? Ms Hall smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that’s a "No, from skipping.". *Brakpan the golf course swinging away. says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready....Aim...." Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Peter finds them and announces that they can – in fact – get arried in Heaven. Drinking Licking sucking fucking and wanking. calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.
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